St. Valentine’s Day: How to avoid the massacre

St. Valentine’s Day: How to avoid the massacre

Oh, St. Valentine’s Day, you heartbreaker, you made-up milestone, what torment you can bring!

Will you get a card? Will you SEND a card? Huge bunch of flowers, delivered to work, so everyone can see how much someone loves you? New haircut, expensive dinner? Or another huge argument and a solo bottle of wine in front of the telly, feeling down? Believe me, if it’s the latter, it’s time to take a stand against Messrs. Carlton and Hallmark and have a think about what it really means..

What began somewhere in AD 496, when Valentinus was persecuted by the Roman Empire and later executed and martyred for performing weddings for soldiers and for ministering to Christians, has become in some ways yet another commercial yardstick by which people can find themselves measuring their self-worth, and who would want to play that game?

Did your partner just forget? Do they REALLY love you? If so, how much? Does it really show in how much money they spend? Does your self esteem have to be linked to how people behave towards you? Zen philosopher Lao-Tzu said that if you care what other people think of you, you will always be their prisoner…

So, who’s in charge here? You, or someone else? The great news is, you get to choose, not just on February 14th, but every day, forever.. so if your relationship is a dismaytionship, take charge.

The way to do this is to truly value yourself. So many women I know get involved with “difficult” people, people who don’t really care, people who are sometimes abusive, uncommunicative, unavailable, or just emotionally shut down. We find ourselves attracted to the Heathcliff’s, the Byron’s, the “mad, bad, and dangerous to know”. It’s an addictive thrill…

It can get compulsive, we find ourselves doing all the running, making all the contact, constantly worrying where he/she is, if they are ok, and thinking if you just loved them a little bit more, they would turn into the kind of person you “know” they really are… The trouble is, these people won’t respond because of all the reasons I gave before, some people won’t, and some people just can’t. And nobody, a romantic partner or otherwise, likes to be the focus of someone who comes across as being “needy”. And you won’t feel good about it, either.

SO, if this is ringing any bells for you or someone you know, what can you do? Well, just have a think about how much time you spend thinking/texting/emailing/discussing this person. How much of your life revolves around focussing on your hero/ine? And how much of their life do you think revolves around YOU? Do you consciously want to spend that amount of your life in relentless pursuit of someone who isn’t interested in whether you are happy or not?

The fact is, if you suffer from low self-esteem, you actually attract just the kind of people who will keep you there. Could it be time to clear some headspace, and take your power back? I once heard someone say that you only regret the things you haven’t done in life, not the things you have…

So, as a famous company once said, “Where do you want to go today?” People are naturally attracted to confident, happy, upbeat people, and happy and upbeat people equally naturally have lots of self esteem. This works as a powerful, positive magnet, and brings all sorts of new relationships and opportunities into your life.

Is there something you always wanted to do, but never got round to? Learn a new language? Get a new job? Learn to cook? Learn to dance? Forget Valentine’s Day, this time of year is a great one for making plans. Write a list. Get started. It doesn’t matter where, or how small, just start somewhere. The kick you’ll get from making even the smallest change, and keeping it up, will motivate you to do more and more , and before you know where you are, months will have gone by without you even thinking about you-know-who.

And the really great thing is, if they DO finally bother to call you, you’ll be out….

I’d like to leave you with a couple of poems of my own on the subject. I hope they make you smile, and I’d love to hear yours. Why not write me a poem about how you spend YOUR St. Valentine’s Day… ?

He offered to shower me with diamonds,
He offered to drape me in pearls..
But I left him alone to wait by the phone
While I went and had lunch with the girls…

The Truth Behind St. Valentine's Day - The Restored Church of God
St. Valentine's Day is the world's “holiday of love. ... The God who gives us
everything—life, food, drink, the ability to think for ourselves, etc. ... Clothed in
loincloths made from sacrificed goats and smeared in their blood, the Luperci
would .... To wake them up and get them back on track as the model nation He
had originally ...

It’s been six month since we split up –
It hasn’t cooled his ardour:
He said if we met up again,
I’d only make it harder…….

Valentine's Day Cards - Martha Stewart
Sign up and we'll send inspiration straight to you. Yes, send me ... Mother's Day
Cards. Father's Day ... How to Make the Accordion Envelope Card · Pop-Up ...

He says he wants a clever girl –
I do the best I can….
I sent him ten thick physics books:
I’D like a taller man.

All the best,

Valentine's Day - Facts, Origin, Meaning & Videos -
Find out more about Valentine's Day, including the story of its origin, symbols,
and traditions. Get all the facts on

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